First Love

Do you remember when you 1st fell in love with your spouse? Nobody looked better!
"Behold, thou are fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes." Song of Solomon 1:15
I met Jake at the end of July 1983. He had a bicycle accident not long after I met him. He lost teeth and had wounds on his face. I don't think his teeth were fixed until just before we married, and he was left with scars! I must have been smitten, for it didn't matter one bit to me. I was captivated by his "dove's" eyes. At first they were the only thing I recognized about his face. It's especially funny if you look at chapter 4, verses 2 & 3. "Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn (They weren't!), which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them." They were "barren" all right! But, I was in love, so I didn't notice! Ha! "Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet..." And, his poor beautiful lip was torn!
(By the way, the first time Jake was at our church I didn't even see him. I heard there was a young man visiting the service who was called to preach. THAT got my interest. I didn't know what he looked like, and I didn't care. I wanted a man who loved God. But, I will write a post about that another time, lest this becomes too long.)
Do you remember that you couldn't even see anyone else for only one held your attention?!
"...comfort me with apples; for I am sick of love." S of S 2:5
Will an apple pie help, Jake?
We old married folks need to strive to continue to be this love-sick!
Remember how you could hardly wait to see him...to get just a glimpse?
"My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: behold, he standeth behind our wall (taking a peek), he looketh forth at the windows (Can I get any glimpse?), shewing himself through the lattice (Just a peek, please!)."
But the Lord "charged" me "...stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please." S of S 2:7
He told me yes, but I had to wait. It was the Lord's time when Jake was ready. I was to follow...not lead. This is what He told me. I remember it so clearly:
"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Psalms 27:14 and "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD..." Proverbs 3:5,6&7
On November 23 we got engaged. Six month later, on May 26, we were married. It will be 25 years in 2009. After months of chaperones, then we could go away together...finally alone...it was wonderful!
"...Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away." S of S 2:13
Do you remember how during your courtship you could hardly wait to see him...to hear his voice?
I was a secretary/receptionist before we got married. I used to love it when he called me; I would melt from the sound of his voice. He worked the night shift cleaning McDonald's restaurants. Sometimes he would show up at my parents' house a while before I left for work and bring me an egg McMuffin for breakfast. Sometimes he would bring breakfast for my mom too. I think he was buttering her up. Ha! Anyway, THAT would make my day...to see him first thing in the morning!
"...let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and they countenance is comely." S of S 2:14
Then the next verse says, "Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes."
Ouch! Is the Lord trying to say that our every-day irritations with each other spoil the vine of our marriage? Yikes! A three-fold cord (The Lord, my husband, me...Ecc. 4:12) is not quickly broken, but that cord (vine) can be slowly eaten away by "foxes" that spoil the vine. Then the tender grapes will not grow; we will not have the fruits of a good testimony. Lord, help!
"My beloved is MINE, and I am HIS." S of S 2:15
Someone once told me, "Oh, you're just jealous," when a woman (not a lady) was trying to get in MY place! Yep, that's right! I was jealous...and I had EVERY right to be! He is MINE! Yoohoo!!!? Next time I won't stand back and be so nice. Blaaa!
"By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth..." S of S 3:1&2
Hey, do the things that bother your husband concern YOU??? Sometimes the kids and I kiddingly call Bro. Jake, Chief Walks At Night. It's a long story. Anyway, sometimes I wake up during the middle of the night and I just feel that his presence is not in the room any longer. Sure enough, I check...he's gone. So, I go downstairs to see if he's okay. Now, I don't always "seek" him, but when I know something is bothering him, you can bet I will go see if I can do anything. We tend to get so lax in our marriages that we don't even care like we should. Not like we did at first. I am guilty too. God help us! The enemy wants to destroy marriages, especially Christian ones. Why? Because marriage is a picture of Christ's love for His church, His bride. Satan hates that picture and wants to wreck it! Lord, HELP!!! We need YOU! You are the glue Who holds us together!!!
"I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?" S of S 3:3
Uh, do you use endearing terms to refer to your spouse? Him whom my soul loveth. Like: Honey, dear, sweet heart, etc. These words help YOU, especially when trying not to be aggravated. Yes, Dear, I did such and such, like you asked me to. "A soft answer turneth away wrath." Prov. 15:1
"It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go..." S of S 3:4
I believe in the hands OFF policy before marriage! I believe it with my whole heart! I'm practically 50 years old, and I have figured out some things in my lifetime that make LOTS of sense. It's very clear in this passage - I Cor. 7:1. I couldn't touch him before we were married, but let me tell you, I couldn't wait until I could hold him after our marriage. But, do we still have that longing after marriage? Or, do we take our beloved for granted? I'm telling you, I'm not sure men have a clue of how powerful their touch is. I believe God made us ladies this way. THAT is why HANDS-OFF before marriage is of utmost importance! Anyway, I will not go there or this will be really long. What I am saying is that a man holds LOTS of power in his touch. More than I think he realizes. All Jake has to do is take me in his arms and I can believe everything will be okay. The world can be falling apart around me, but crushed against his chest everything will be all right. Do you practice holding him? Uh, it's okay now that you're married...and highly recommended! :)
"He made the pillars thereof of silver, the bottom thereof of gold, the covering of it of purple, the midst thereof being paved with love..." S of S 3:10
Our home can be decorated all pretty, but if it is not "paved with love" in the middle, well...then we need help. Who cares if the house is nice, if there is a bad spirit and lack of love.
"Thou are all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee." S of S 4:7
Ugh! All I can say is...ugh! It's so easy to be blind to the faults of the one you love when you fall head over heels in love. But, after marriage it's another story. Lord, help us to be blind!
"Thou hast ravished my heart..." S of S 4:4
The Lord commands, yes, it is a commandment, "...and BE thou ravished always with her love." Prov. 5:19 It's written to the husband, but certainly He expects no less from us ladies towards our husbands!
"A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed." 4:12
"...Let my beloved come into HIS garden, and eat HIS pleasant fruits." 4:16
Well, I'm not sure I have the right take on this; I am no theologian. But, when I compare it to Proverbs chapter 5:15-20, I think it's talking about marital fidelity. Uh, your "garden" is only for the two of you. You are his "fountain" and his alone. Adultery is rampent, even amongst Christians. Sisters, these things ought not to be so!!! By the way, emotional adultery is also wicked!!!
I mean, look at the verses:
15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
17 Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee.
18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
The Lord asks:
20 And why wilt thou, my son (daughter), be ravished with a strange woman (man), and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Once again I say, Lord, help us! Satan would be thrilled to wreck your marriage through the act of adultery. WATCH OUT!!!
"His mouth is most sweet; yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend..." S of S 5:16
Before anything romantic, Jake was 1st my friend. I'm glad my husband is my friend...my best friend. We don't just coexist. What's sad is, we are often the nastiest to those we love best. We know they'll put up with our grumpiness. Why is that? It is because we take them for granted. This is not right, and it needs work. Uhhh, Lord...? We need YOU!
"Turn away thine eyes from me, for they have overcome me..." S of S 6:5
I'll never forget the look in his eyes when I knew Jake loved me. I could hardly breathe. That look that passes between lovers should EVER be there.
"How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!" S of S 7:6
"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me." S of S 7:10
Do you desire to please your husband as you did when he was courting you? This will help to keep your marriage alive. It is truly more blessed to give than to receive! Want an apple pie, Jake? :)
Your heart's cry to your spouse should be, "Set me as a seal upon thine heart..." S of S 8:6
For you belong ONLY to each other! It is a most beautiful and precious thing! You can both have rings on your fingers, but they are only a token. Is your love for him set as a seal upon your heart? There are times you'll be so angry with each other. In the first love of your relationship, you thought this would never be, but that is not reality. What we need is a HUGE dose of COMMITMENT!!! That's what the seal on your heart is. A seal of commitment to your marriage vow! Are you committed because you made a promise before God? It was not just a commitment to a man, you know. But, are you committed to him simple because you told God you would be? What about your children? Are you committed to him because of the children you've had together? This may seem a strange question, but are you committed to him so your parents won't lie awake at night worrying? And, for his parents too? Are you committed to him so your marriage will be like a beacon in a very dark world? So that the lost will see something different between the two of you and will seek to know what (Who) it is?
My blog is called, "Leanne's Legacy and Lessons Learned." Jake and I are certainly far from perfect, but I hope that a part of the legacy I will leave behind for my children is that their mother loved their father...and that he loved me. I finish this post begging, "God, help our marriages; PLEASE help us to be committed!"